The truth as told by liars. We swear.

Two life experts combine their advanced cognition with linguistic mastery to humerously joust over various topics. The ballad of Tricky Dick and Johnny Depth.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

TOPIC: What would you do with these?


Question: Your turn Johnny. It's not even a question is it?....nevermind, it is now.


Tricky ponders with his hand on his chin in sophistication:

1) What would you do with a multifaceted facet?

2) How much chuck could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck's name was Karl?

3) Beavers and Ducks?

4) How come country music isn't banned in the city?

5) Is a bird in the hand REALLY worth two in the bush?

6) How many birds is a bush in the hand worth?

7) What if the only thing that rhymed with "orange" was "purple"?

8) If you have a cold hot pocket, what is it now?

9) If a girl is taller than you, can you kiss during sex?

10) What exactly is going on if you are debugging a venus fly trap?

11) How big of a whore is Paris Hilton?

12) Vanilla or Mildred?

13) What are the rammifications of burping, hiccupping, yawning, sneezing and sniffling all at the same time?

The world needs to know Johnny.......make haste!

Johnny Depth:

Tricky I fail to see a common theme to these questions other than a lack of a theme... My responses are boring; I realize this, and--if you so choose--so shall you.

1) If I had a multifaceted facet I would do a lot of things, because it's not just a faucet.

2) Karl would chuck all the wood he could chuck?

3) Oregon State and Oregon?

4) I hate you... Why are the Jazz in Utah and the Grizzlies in Memphis [NBA]?

5) Yes, because that is a guarantee. Two birds in a bush--no guarantee.

6) Is the bush a good situation? If it is a good situation, it is worth a shit ton of birds.

7) That question implies that "orange" and "purple" do rhyme with each other--not the case. In fact, neither word rhymes with anything... But if they did, rhyming would be annoying as apposed to soothing; Rap would plummet in popularity; instead of an entertainer, Snoop Dogg would just be a gun welding druggy.

8) An Oxymoron? Assuming that hot pockets when hot are tasty, a cold hot pocket is still nasty crap.

9) Only if she wants to.

10) Whatever it is, you should exercise caution and wear protection. My guess is that if there was any real concern of people trying this it would be illegal.

11) I'm guessing over six foot.

12) Vanilla smells excellent and tastes like shit—which angers and confuses me. I am going to go out on a limb and choose Mildred.

13) Janet Reno

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