The truth as told by liars. We swear.

Two life experts combine their advanced cognition with linguistic mastery to humerously joust over various topics. The ballad of Tricky Dick and Johnny Depth.

Friday, August 04, 2006

TOPIC: Alcoholic Judgement

QUESTION: Is Alcohol a Truth Serum?

ANSWERS:

Johnny Depth says:
Ok, so while reading a CBS News: HEALTHWATCH article, "Is Alcohol a Truth Serum?” I became inspired to write. Based on Mel Gibson's recent remarks to a police officer, after being pulled over for drunk driving, a strange discussion has broken out. One comment in this article caught my attention:

"'You can't pour vodka on a turnip and have it say anti-Semitic remarks,' says Gary L. Malone, MD, an addiction psychiatrist and the medical director and chief of psychiatry at Baylor All Saints Medical Center in Fort Worth, Texas."

"'When anyone drinks there is a neurological and psychological regression, and the higher the blood alcohol level, the more primitive and hostile the response that comes out,' he says. Sorry Mel, 'Alcohol can't make you think or feel things,' according to Malone."

Maybe I agree with Malone, but then again I have never, under any circumstances, heard a turnip make an intelligible sound. Not that I spend a large amount of time with turnips, but I asked around and I'm not the only one. Conclusion, Dr. Malone may be exactly right, but his comment distracts from his point and makes me angry; I want to argue with him. Dr. Malone clearly states that, "'Alcohol can't make you think or feel things,'" but is it fair to expect the same behavior as when not intoxicated? Did Mel ever claim that the alcohol made him say things? You don’t have to really believe something to say it do you? Are all beliefs that I hold based on fact and responsively researched? No, sometimes I take positions to purely be oppositional. Beyond argument I don't act on these beliefs. Have you ever said something to provoke a reaction? Maybe I am right now!

A Boston family therapist also commented in the article:

"'People should be held accountable for what they say drunk as well as sober, and forgiveness should not be based on 'the alcohol made me do it' as Gibson is claiming,' adds Carleton Kendrick EdM, LCSW, a family therapist in Boston. 'I don't accept that because one does not explode in the tirade that he came forth with unprovoked without believing in the thoughts that he expressed,' he says. "

I bet that Mr. Kendrick has some thoughts that are not socially acceptable. He is able to filter out these feelings in normal everyday interactions, but maybe not while under the influence. I can agree, there are thoughts and beliefs that I suppress and don't talk freely about, and I am assuming that Mel and I aren't the only ones. Should I be defined by these thoughts or by my actions? I shouldn’t have to apologize for my thoughts. Should we label Mel Gibson as an Anti-Semitic because he made some remarks in a state of drunkenness”? Maybe Mel’s judgment was slightly inhibited; he was driving drunk.

The more I read the article, I realize I wasted my time writing about it. But I have put a bit of work into it, so I should at least post it and get a reaction from Tricky Dick. If he feels a response is warranted.

The article in question can be found at the following address:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/08/03/health/webmd/main1864620.shtml

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Tricky Dick says:
I must admit, there's a lot of things that I have been unsuccessful with regarding "pouring alcohol on things". I have tried pouring alcohol down my throat in order to gain "balls" as some would say. It's only worked half of the time. I poured it on my roommates face when he was being non-compliant, he then became over-compliant with fury (then again, he was from Nebraska so we have to throw out those results). I poured a lot of alcohol on a freaky lovers chest once.....except that time I broke it down into it's natural urine state.

You can't pour alcohol on a turnip and make it yell at anything. But like the Nebraskan example above, you can pour alcohol on a Nebraskan or a donkey and they will both become asses.

As you mentioned, maybe it wasn't the drinking that caused this to happen. Maybe it was the DRIVING. Afterall, you can't make a turnip drive a car and expect it to make sense after doing so. Or maybe it was that you can't turn a turnip into a car and expect it to get desireable gas mileage? Or was it.....you can't turn up the tuner with your two lips in a turnip turned car while turning by the tulips. Sorry, it's all a blur.....i've been driving and can't be expected to be responsible for what I write.

Johnny Depth:

In my experience driving drunk is like playing Russian Roulette. The drunker you are the more bullets there are in the cylinder; the farther that you have to go, the more your going to have to point the gun at your head and pull the trigger. You might get lucky and survive a game or two, but play enough and somebody’s going to die. Hopefully it’s you and not some poor bastard that just happened to be walking behind you when you pulled the trigger and accidentally shot him because you were drunk. What's worse than driving drunk? Riding with a drunken Nebraskan. That is like passing the revolver to him; he spins the cylinder, points the gun at your head, and pulls the trigger. It’s like your responsible for directing two monkeys to drive. Throw a monkey on the steering wheel and a monkey on the gas pedal; you have no control--very bad situation.


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