TOPIC: Nintendo Wii..... Weeeeee!!!!!!

Question: What is Nintendo thinking?!?!


Tricky Dick shall say:

I'm not sure what Nintendo was smoking when they created Nintendo Wii, but hope it's for sale....somewhere on my block. These turkeys decided that it's a good idea to make a physically interactive gaming device? Morons. In case you're unfamiliar (hi, I'm Dick, now we're familiar), this little guy has a couple of wireless ninja toy looking motion sensing, controlling devices which you swing around like a jackass in order to play some of the games. Does Nintendo realize the crowd they're playing to? There are two types which make up the majority:

Type 1: Consists of people of which the reason most of these people are playing these games is to get the warm feeling of the abilities of a superhero or sports star because they themselves cannot chew gum and walk without knocking the power down in a small metropolitan area. These people are just going to realize once again how terribly untalented and uncoordinated they are and probably cry themselves to sleep after a few shots of drain-o.

Type 2: Consists of people of whom are so morbidly obese or plain fucking lazy that they would rather do just about anything besides physical motion. "I have a brilliant idea! Let's get them to do physical motion! They will learn to love it!".....no, no they won't, but they will learn to hate you for thinking like Richard Simmons. You will need to head in the other direction for these people to buy your shit. Maybe create something where they can play simply by thinking about playing. Work on that.

Your thoughts?


Johnny Depth:

Sorry about the delay tricky... I decided, like an idiot, to go hiking around on Mt. Hood for a couple of days and to my surprise got caught in some unfavorable conditions. I agree, I think that Nintendo may have made a poor financial move here by possibly alienating its core-base, but they are still a step a-head of Senator Kerry who alienated the entire base by calling the military a bunch of underachievers... Wasn't he in the military? Anyway... that's old news. While this may hurt Nintendo, I believe that it is good for society. Finally those guys in computer labs everywhere will have to come to the realization that thumb coordination and an inordinate amount time spent behind the flicker of a game-console may no-longer be enough to separate the boys from the boys. Now they'll have to flail their arms around and really look stupid. Hard to play Wii and look like a badass. I hate those little fuckers in the back of the room always talking about how good they are at video games. Now maybe this gives the average Joe a step up.

Average Joe -- individual who uses arms for more than connecting thumbs to body. Play video games for fun on occasion rather than primary source of self-esteem.

TOPIC: Final Fantasy.....12????

QUESTION: How can you have more than one Final Fantasy?


Tricky Dick Traverses in Dungarees:

Ladies and Gentlemen, i'm angry. But that's for another discussion at another time and has no business in this discussion. I was watching my home-size theater screen yestermorn' and discovered something that would twist my emotional well-being to an extent it can't even be extended to. I saw a commercial for Final Fantasy 12. This struck me as odd; I figured, the first time they mentioned that it was THE Final Fantasy, they knew what the fuck they were talking about. How can you have more than one if it is the "Final" anything? Let me try to contrast and compare other "Finals" that we are familiar with to prove my point:

1. "You're finally here".....not...."You're finally here for the 9th fucking time" (the word "fuck" makes anything that much cooler and clairvoyant.)

2. "I have a final exam coming up".....not......"I have three finals in this class and then a final final at the end of the fourth trimester, second verse, of ye paragonal googleplex fortnight."

---see, the second is such a ridiculous use of "final" that it completely threw off the integrity of the entire conversation....the conversation couldn't even handle it.

3. "You're not getting any avacados with your softball match, and that's FINAL!!"......not....."You're not getting any avacados with your softball match, and that's FINAL until I unfinalize the finality of your finess in softball longevity"

---I mean what the hell? No avacados? No way hooker. You can go have your own softball......match?? but I will not be apart of this foolishness.


SOOOOOOO, as you can clearly see. Final Fantasy 12? No-fucking-way mister. You had your finish 11 FF's ago and you need to just walk away from the title.......the "Final Title", which you got 10 more of later on down the road............god dammit.

Johnny Depth:

Dido

TOPIC: Election 2006

Question: Why are negative add campaigns so effective?

Johnny Depth takes a deep breath:

It has become common practice in the majority of political campaigns: "Vote for me. My opponent is an evil, immoral prick that wants to hurt you, your future, and your family... Oh, he/she is an idiot too." The political system has been reduced to a he-said she-said celebrity feud. Which is bad but even worse when we encourage this sort of playground behavior by allowing these ridiculous tactics. But why? Why have we let these negative campaigns break us into factions of jealous bickering teenage girls? Forgive my stereotypical insults; it was a cheap laugh. Don't fall victim to my sleazy attack--make an informed decision for yourself.

Is it that--deep down--we trust too much in the system of Checks and Balances to think that any candidate can really make an impact on our lives good or bad? Is that why we vote for the candidate that did the best job of bad mouthing their opponent--regardless of the validity or relevance of their statements? Or what’s worse we vote for people along party lines because we don't want to understand the issues, form opinions, and choose the candidate that best represents our interests. It is my opinion that the majority of the American public has become complacent in its own freedom, or at least it appears that way. If we were truly worried that our lack of participation in democracy could result in a country that controls us, suppresses the weak, ignores the helpless, or panders to the will of special interest, we would take responsibility for our duties as citizens. I find myself thinking that there is some higher power that makes government accountable for their promises and actions, but that is my job and it can't be trusted to anyone else. Sorry, my intensions were to approach this topic with a humorous flare, but I ended up preaching up a god-damn storm.

On a lighter note vote for Wayne.


Tricky Dick picks up the slack:

First of all, there are three things we NEVER discuss: Religion, Politics, and Her. You broke those rules by mentioning all of them at the same time.....because we all know that politics these days is a battle royale of The Jesus-Toting fornicating Right vs. The Agnostic Alternative lifestyle Left....which obviously with their powers combined forms a trifecta of the above mentioned....? Either way, it's a wrestling match of "Let my religious beliefs and stubborn pride get in the way of my logical cognitive process" vs. "Let my ass-kissing 'if they can breath tax them, if they can't, find their children and tax them' beliefs that get in the way of my logical cognitive process". Our system of "checks and balances" has become a system of "checking account balances" and as you mentioned Johnny, whoever holds the big-stick in the funding department holds the airtime for mudslinging. It's ridiculous and I hope it doesn't take a country overthrowing us for us American knuckleheads to figure it out. That's all i'm going to say about that because this blog hasn't been near ridiculous enough lately.....so here we go...

I've decided that I hate when politicians attempt to make jokes and be funny. Bush isn't funny. Well, he is funny just becuase he himself thinks he is one funny "sum bitch"....really he thinks he is the funniest "sum bitch" there is, and that's what makes it funny. Kerry on the other hand is just a jackass. "I've got a good one.....your mother is a whore, he he he"....wHaT? Political suicide at it's finest. So it sounds like i'm saying I don't want my politicians to be jokers and try to be funny....and I really do feel that way....except i'm a total contradiction, because the minute a comedian gets into politics, that fucker is going to get my vote IMMEDIATELY. It's weird, but it's sort of a "if you can't laugh with them, vote against them", because if politics has become such a joke, why not vote for the guy with the BEST jokes?

I'm done.

TOPIC: The Deadhorse -- illegal music downloads

Question: Is the music industry's attempt to curb illegal file sharing by suing individuals effective?

Johnny Depth spouts:
Distributing copyrighted material with out expressed written consent is illegal. Most everyone is aware of this fact, but is the widespread practice of downloading songs via file-sharing really just a sign that the average music listener is not satisfied with the terms associated with legal music purchases? Beyond the obvious cost of legal music downloading, there are several more irritating conditions associated with the process. Moving the files to another computer or media is burdensome and not always possible and not all songs can be found in a single legal portal (I don't care what they advertise). The freedom and compatibility of pirated music is awfully attractive when I don’t even feel like I own the music I have legally purchased. If the industry doesn't find a way to address the short comings of their system, then I foresee a drastic change in the way music is obtained, and I'm all for cutting out the middle man. Let’s get the music directly from the artists over portals in a universal format. The artist gets paid, the consumer owns a license to an artistic work, and the world continues to turn. Instead of crying about how much money you are losing [Music Industry] find a way to make legal music purchases a superior forum to file-swapping. Idiots...